AP Language Essay #2: Welfare

Your second essay of the year will be due on Sunday, September 23 at noon. You can download the prompt here.

Keep these requirements in mind as you write the essay:

  • Proofread your response before you submit it.
  • You can use either a concession or boomer structure, but be sure you follow the format (thesis and topic sentence) for whichever you choose.
  • You should include at least two naysayers.
  • Use the sub-topic strategy we discussed for Essay 1 to make your essay less repetive and more interesting.
  • Don’t use outside research! We’ll do some discussion in class, but you really need to work on not using outside sources to answer these arguments.

Please share your essay with me using Google Drive at dpogreba@gmail.com by the deadline.

 

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Topic Sentences

Persuasion/Synthesis Essay Prompt

Few Rules to Remember:

  1. Topic sentences are always arguments in these kinds of essays.
  2. The persuasion and synthesis essays can be addressed in exactly the same way.
  3. The three paragraph models here are just for illustration. Your essay can certainly be 2-5 paragraphs.
  4. Topic sentences should show relationships/transitions between paragraphs: your goal is an essay that feels like a cohesive whole.
  5. There are five basic approaches you can take on these essays.
  6. Straight Refutation (2-4 reasons why the idea is a bad one)
  7. Straight Support (2-4 reasons why the idea is a good one)
  8. Concession/Qualifier (strongly take one side, but concede one point to other side)
  9. Boomer (not only present your argument, but attack the other side)
  10. Caveat (strongly take a position, but concede that there is an issue to consider)

Straight Refutation/Straight Support Essay

You probably want to avoid these. If you can’t write these topic sentences by now, you’re DOOMED. Keep them arguments.

Concession/Qualifier Essay

Thesis:While modern media discourse is often base and even occasionally pointless, such democratic discussion is essential for good governance and to undermine corporate dominance of the debate.

Body Paragraph 1: It would be hard to argue that American discourse has suffered as access to publishing has increased. [CONCESSION]

Body Paragraph 2:Despite the crudeness of much of contemporary discussion free expression of even the most trivial idea is crucial to democracy. [YOUR FIRST ARGUMENT]

Body Paragraph 3:Even more significantly, democratization of discourse offers perhaps the only tool to undermine corporate dominance of the media. [YOUR SECOND ARGUMENT]

Boomer Essay

Thesis:The democratic discussion generated by new media is essential for good governance and to undermine corporate dominance of the debate.

Body Paragraph 1: Free expression of even the most trivial idea is crucial to democracy. [YOUR FIRST ARGUMENT]

Body Paragraph 2: Even more significantly, democratization of discourse offers perhaps the only tool to undermine corporate dominance of the media. [YOUR SECOND ARGUMENT]

Body Paragraph 3: Critics of new media wrongly assert that it debases our national discussion. [CRUSH THIS ARGUMENT]

Caveat Essay

Thesis:The democratic discussion generated by new media is essential for good governance and to undermine corporate dominance of the debate.

Body Paragraph 1: Free expression of even the most trivial idea is crucial to democracy. [YOUR FIRST ARGUMENT]

Body Paragraph 2: Even more significantly, democratization of discourse offers perhaps the only tool to undermine corporate dominance of the media. [YOUR SECOND ARGUMENT]

Body Paragraph 3: Despite all of the benefits of participation in new media, it’s imperative that society be watchful lest hateful speech spread unchecked. [YOUR CAVEAT—NOT A FULLY DEVELOPED CONCESSION, BUT AN ISSUE TO CONSIDER}

Analysis Essay Prompt

Few Rules to Remember:

  1. When you read the piece, look for logical places to make your divisions. In order, subject, tone, and chronology are the best places to look for division.
  2. You DO NOT need to include specific devices in the topic sentences. In fact, unless they are dominant devices that you intend to discuss exclusively, don’t list them.
  3. You want to make the author of the piece the subject of the sentence. This will make your sentence stay in the active voice.
  4. Note (parenthetically) the structural division you have chosen.
  5. Keep it simple and clear. The body of the paragraph is where the intricate analysis takes place.
  6. In analysis essays, the argument is simply your assertion about what the author is saying.

Sample Topic Sentence (Basic and Effective)

Updike opens his argument (paragraphs 1-2) by describing the conflicted emotions of fans on Opening Day.

Sample Topic Sentence (Bit More Artful)

In his breathless open, Updike depicts (paragraphs 1-2) the crowd at a baseball game on Opening Day, who are both nostalgic about the season past and nervously optimistic about the one to come.

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CRISP Editing

Introduction

The most important thing to remember is that writing should be a series of deliberate choices. Whether it’s a word, phrase, sentence, or paragraph, each element of your writing should reflect the act of thoughtful choice. The great American novelist Don DeLillio wrote, ““Writing is a form of personal freedom. It frees us from the mass identity we see in the making all around us. In the end, writers will write not to be outlaw heroes of some underculture but mainly to save themselves, to survive as individuals.” Writing an AP analysis essay may not save you, but it should be an opportunity to uniquely express the person and think you want to be.

Combine Sentences

Avoid a string of short, disconnected sentences unless you intend to use them for effect. They tend to make your writing less natural. It also makes the writing choppy for the reader. See what I mean‌ Most of the time, you will want to combine data (evidence or textual support) with your claim, rather than separating them into separate sentences.
 
Compare these passages:

  • She shows the ability of Americans to follow society’s system of authority by saying that people had been “flocking to Florida” as a vacation place. She makes the comparison between birds and Americans by using the word “flocking”. She symbolizes the idea that Americans follow one another, mimicking the more powerful and influential ones rather than finding their own path. Birds are the same way because they always seem to be together in a massive group, especially when migrating to the south.
  • Price compares Americans to “flocks” of birds, sardonically suggesting that Americans are just as likely to flock towards the latest trend as birds are to mindlessly migrate together each change in season.

 
Reduce Wordiness

Eliminate filler phrases that exist only to add words to the piece. Think about George Orwell and his argument against meaningless phrases. Make sure that your diction is deliberate and meaningful. Be mindful of unnecessary qualifiers that weaken your language as well.
Phrases to excise include:

Intensify Verbs

Look at all the verbs in your piece. Circle the being verbs and eliminate those that don’t need to exist. Especially watch for the use of the passive voice. If you didn’t intend to use it (special circumstances), eliminate it.

Sharpen Diction

Word choice is responsible for tone and precision of meaning. Evaluate word choice carefully to determine how it will affect the reader’s perception of your attitude. Eliminate vague pronouns.
At least once per paragraph, make a deliberate decision to change a word or phrase to something more specific, more powerful, and with more precise meaning.
 

Pack Phrases and Reduce Clauses

Move phrases behind nouns.
·         Instead of “A proposal presented by Derek Bok, the president of Harvard, was defeated,” (12 words) pack it to “Harvard president Derek Bok’s proposal failed.”  (6 words)
 
Almost all clauses can be reduced in some way, to appositives or phrases, etc.
·         Instead of “Barack Obama, who is the President of the United States” simply write “Barack Obama, President of the United States.”
 
 
 
Derived from an original handout by Dixie Dellinger
 

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Analysis, Synthesis, and Persuasive Writing

 These handouts don’t translate too well, so I’ve provided links to the PDFs of notes for the three major types of assignments we will complete for AP Language and Composition:

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